We can often be resistant to change – we get comfortable, compliant, we feel safe. But sometimes being comfortable can mean we feel as though we don’t deserve more, or we don’t think we are capable of more so we happily continue along the same path even though we may not feel all too happy about it. If you really stop and think about what you want and visualise yourself at the end of your goal – what’s stopping you from achieving that? Is it that you don’t believe in yourself? Maybe laziness has kicked in or you simply just don’t know where to start.
I look at the above questions and I can think of a solution for each, and one underlying word that drives all of the above is consistency. It’s the consistency of any behaviour, day-in and day-out that sets our path. When it comes to behaviour change regardless of whatever has held us back in the past, it’s the simple tweaks that we make in our day-to-day life that makes the most significant difference to how much-unwanted weight we can lose or the achievement of specific health, wellness or fitness goal. All you really need to do is make the commitment to yourself and be consistent with these simple changes. I know it can be easier said than done but trust me when I say the moment you implement these changes, every day, is the moment you will eventually reach your goal. Sounds pretty good, doesn’t it? And to do this it’s important to let go of any self-doubt, fear and resistance because you have all that you need right here and now.
The start of any health, fitness or weight loss journey can be tough, it takes work, discipline and commitment. But know if you slip up It’s NOT the end of the world. Instead, I want you to fail forward, don’t kick in the bucket and give up. We are human, we make mistakes and this is completely normal. Take a moment to reflect on what slipped you up and be prepared for next time because nothing is getting in the way of your weight loss or health goal, right? Right! An example is a food, ultimately food is neutral but we inherently categorise food as good or bad – it’s necessary to sit down and work out what’s going on and causing us to use food in this way. This black and white thinking won’t serve you when it comes to truly nourishing your body and reaching your health goals long-term. I and the team at Merge Health are here to give you all the necessary tools and support to help you achieve a content state of well-being, you just need to make the commitment to yourself to implement the change.
Once we make these definitive decisions to focus on change our subconscious mind can dig the heels in and resistance kicks up to keep us rooted in what we are all too comfortable doing. Changing our diet is a key example of this. Our subconscious mind likes to keep us safe. Once we change our perspective and let go of fear amazing changes begin to take place.
Try your hardest not to allow self-fulfilling prophecies about yourself take over like ‘oh I can’t do this, I’m just meant to be this way’. The negative self-talk needs to stop, it does absolutely nothing for us. The best way to change this is through mindfulness techniques which myself and the Merge team can assist you with.
I want to touch on justification – this little baby can derail so much of your hard work. You might have caught yourself saying, ‘oh I did a huge gym session today so I can enjoy that bowl of ice-cream or that slice of cake’. These justifications are what holds so many people back on their journey to better health. I have people ask me why they can’t seem to lose weight or why it’s taking so long to shift even though they are doing everything according to the book. They’re probably unaware that they are justifying some of their unhealthy behaviours with the good behaviours that they do. They aren’t quite getting the balance right. You might have come home after a bad day and caught yourself saying ‘I don’t even care, I’ve had an ordinary day and I’m getting take-out for tea’. This is a common weight loss buffer, but one you can quickly turn around by becoming aware of your thought stream and always bringing your awareness back to your goals.
A great self-discovery activity for you is to sit down and try to figure out what the root cause is that is driving your self-sabotage and what are some justifications you’ve used for this in the past? Write down how your calm cool and collected self would respond to this justification. When you get these self-sabotaging thoughts or feel resistance kicking in try this technique:
If you catch yourself saying this on one too many occasions ‘my eating was perfect today, it won’t hurt if I eat a biscuit or two’, then before you know it the packet is gone. If I was to react to this in a cool and calm sense I would probably stop and take a breath, ask myself ‘do I really need this?’, bringing my attention to my goals and want I really want. You might say to yourself ‘I want to feel healthier, happier and you know what it would be nice to fit into that dress or suit I’ve had sitting in my wardrobe for so long’. Then think about three things you enjoy to distract you from the idea of eating that dessert. Now jot that down.
I’ll be the first to tell you without belief in yourself and your ability to change you simply won’t. You need to truly believe that you are worth the effort, and you know what, you deserve to be the very best version of yourself so start getting comfortable with this idea. Nobody is perfect and we don’t have to be, but the moment you get those self-sabotaging thoughts I want you to replace them with thoughts like, ‘My body deserves proper nourishment’ and ‘I am so deserving of this’.The moment we accept ourselves and encourage a more self-loving approach we begin to repair our relationship with food, ourselves and become less resistant to change. The more self-acceptance we have for ourselves, the more love we can put into the things we do and the people around us.
Clinical Nutritionist, Weight-loss expert
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